The art of war is a book that I've been wanting to read and apply in life for years. The beauty of this book can only be felt once you start to read it and realize that its teachings have been shared through various forms for eons - even if you HAVEN'T read the book completely.

Seemed like a good way to start this article. Truth be told, I am yet to finish reading the entire thing but having been through summaries, videos, and discussions to understand what Sun Tsu was trying to say.

Now, this book has inspired a host of leaders, strategy books, and more. It has also inspired me to look into the concept of conflict and share some views on it.

A conflict is a clash of interest. The basis of conflict may vary and it has been around for as long as a lot of us can remember. But usually, when we talk about conflict, we're talking about an external scenario/circumstance. We rarely use conflict as a term to describe our internal state of being. And therein lies my favorite part of Sun Tsu's book - Know yourself and you will win all battles.

Of course, there are a host of individuals far more qualified than I who can talk about this book and leadership strategies, mindset, war, etc. at length but what I want to share is the connection of martial arts (Latin translation - Arts of Mars; meaning arts of the God of war) which literally means - The arts of war.

The modern-day interpretation of this word has led people to believe that martial arts are only about fighting (conflict), or self-defense (conflict) and largely for the outward circumstance. But as ANY leader (martial artist or business or otherwise) will tell you - your inner state of being, influences your outward circumstance. You cannot go and win a fight or a winning presentation if internally, you're riddled with self-doubt, demotivating fear, and unrest. For me, martial arts practices and principles are the complete guide to conflict resolution of ANY KIND - internal or external, physical or mental, in the street or in the boardroom.

If we were to look at warriors of old - Shaolin Monks, Japanese Samurai, Knights, and more; the common point to note among all of them is that they were all masters of conflict resolution. Of course, there are major differences in terms of practice, mindset, reasons for training and more but I'd be old enough to generalize and say that if you were to take the principles of training across each of these segments, they would largely be the same. All martial arts, similar to The Art of War, share the same key principles in order to effectively resolve conflicts -

1. Pick your battles - Not every conflict needs to be resolved or even addressed. In fact, some conflicts are nothing more than annoyances that can be dealt with by simply letting them go and not letting them bother you at all. Simply put, there are levels to resolving conflict ranging from walking away (surprise, surprise), verbal resolution, involving the authorities, using physical force to NEUTRALIZE a threat, and finally battle for survival (life or death; the chances of which are relatively low). How you effectively resolve this, comes from your understanding of yourself, your opponent, and your environment (where you are, what/who is around, etc.)

2. Balance - All martial arts talk about balance. No this does not just mean keeping your feet under your body. 'Balance' here refers to the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional balance. You cannot let emotions get the better of you in the middle of a conflict and neither can you stay completely emotional-less. You can't go exert yourself physically without requisite rest and you can't stay completely sedentary otherwise you deal with a host of physical problems. Speed comes from relaxation but force comes from tension so if you tense the 'strike' at the right time (end of the fast movement), you have a powerful strike that WILL hurt your opponent.

3. Awareness and adaptation - If there is one thing you take from this, let it be this: You CANNOT resolve a conflict by being unaware. Awareness leads to adaptation; adaptation leads to success. It's like the art of war states: if one knows himself/herself and not the enemy, there will be a defeat for every victory. If you know the enemy, but don't know yourself, the outcome will be the same. So victory is granted to the one who knows himself/herself and the enemy and can ADAPT accordingly to find the most effective resolution for the conflict. That includes admitting defeat because sometimes, admitting defeat is the greatest victory.

sometimes, admitting defeat is the greatest victory.

The statement above is extremely important. If you cannot admit that there is someone better, you cannot grow. If you cannot admit that you are not where you want to be; if you cannot stare at your inadequacies, without judgment or pulling yourself down and admit that you need to get better; if you cannot look past your own ego, you cannot resolve the conflict you face. In fact, this is the first step to resolve anything. This is what truly begins to shape your reality; the internal influences the external.

Thank you for taking the time out to read this. I will delve deeper into this bit and share experiences of people who have influenced this piece and hopefully, you'll get a better understanding of MY views towards conflict resolution.